Tears of the Fallen
by ApocalypticPyro
Summary: Anakin comes down with a deadly illness, one unknown to the healing skills of the Jedi. Will a master lose his apprentice before he completes his training? Rated to be safe.
1. K2, the deadly killer

~This is a story from Obi-Wan's point of view. Time frame: Between TPM and AOTC. Anakin has contracted an extremely rare disease. NO ONE IS ALLOWED TO KILL ME FOR THIS! I'm in a morbid mood right now. Hopefully Italics are memories, but every time you see a * then it's the beginning or end of a memory. ~  
  
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Ba-dump.Ba-dump.Ba-dump.  
  
Blip.Blip.Blip.  
  
My heart pounded so loudly in my chest that I worried it would wake the small frail form that lay still on the bed in front of me. The child had contracted a rare disease that healers nicknamed K2: Killer #2. The disease was slow, and one could not see the symptoms until it was too late.  
  
My Padawan, Anakin Skywalker, was the child on the medical bay cot. Skin that was once warm and slightly browned was now paler than snow, and eyes that were once a clear blue were now a grey misty color. He could barely move, and what little movement he made took a lot of his energy. Tubes and needles, wires and bandages stuck out along his body that had once been lean and fit, now all-too-thin and willowy.  
  
I never expected it to be like this. When I took him on as an apprentice, I was fulfilling the wishes of a dying man: my master Qui-Gon Jinn. I held myself back from the boy, not wanting to get attached to him too much. If I got emotionally attached, it would hurt if and when something bad happened. But I failed. I let myself love Anakin. He was so innocent when I met him, and all he wanted was to be loved. I provided him with that love over the years, and he turned into a wonderful apprentice, talented in both the Force and with a lightsaber.  
  
Then, one day, he had started complaining of a pain in his back. I told him it was nothing and provided temporary relief. As the days went on, he started slowing down and tiring more than usual. He fell behind on his studies, going down to the medical ward for aspirins during his classes. Finally, he couldn't even support himself anymore. Bant admitted him into the medical ward, keeping him on careful observation. They took X-rays of his body, then of his back, where they discovered the K2 beginning to grow on his spine.  
  
The day Bant told me, I was in shock. I couldn't believe it. K2. My Padawan had K2. Bant kept talking about things they could do to save him, and the consequences, but I wasn't listening.  
  
My entire world came crashing down around me. I had learned about K2 in school, of course. It was a bio-weapon that could wipe out an entire planet, and no one would find it till it was too late. The fact that it had infected my Padawan terrified me.  
  
* "There has to be something you can do!"  
  
Bant shook her head sadly. "Obi-Wan, did you not just hear what I said?"  
  
"I was kind of preoccupied with the fact that my apprentice is DYING!" What was I thinking? Bant was my best friend and now I'm yelling at her. All she did was tell me what she was supposed to tell me.  
  
Tears formed in her large silver eyes.  
  
"Well, I'm sorry Obi-Wan. I'm worried about Anakin too but you need to CALM DOWN!" The Mon Calamarian whirled and ran back to the main medical bay. The door shut behind her.  
  
I sat down hard, elbows resting on my knees and hands in my face. 'What have I done?'*  
  
Anakin was admitted full time to the infirmary, which leads us to this point in time.  
  
Bant is still angry with me, and I can't find her to apologize. I grasped the bony hand in front of me. How could I let this happen?  
  
"Obi-Wan." I turned. Bant stood in the doorway. "There is something we can do. But it will mean that Anakin's spinal cord will be out of commission." Her usually warm voice was cold as she spoke.  
  
"Bant, I-"  
  
"Stop. I know this means a lot to you, and so does he. Apparently he means more to you than the rest of your friends." She turned and left. I sighed, then turned back to my apprentice.  
  
I thought about the procedure. Having Anakin alive and crippled was better than having him die, right?  
  
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"His fever is still rising. We need to get more medicine in him." I watched silently as Tahl grabbed a syringe, filled with a strange looking blue liquid, took Anakin's limp arm gently and slid the needle slowly into his vein.  
  
It had been a week since my fight with Bant. I hadn't left Anakin's side, eaten, or slept since then. My eyes were sunken and hollow, according to Tahl, who had come in to watch Anakin with me. I was wasting away, she said, becoming nothing more than air. Empty, hallow, unfeeling. I don't know why, but I completely agreed with her.  
  
I was empty, hallow, and unfeeling. Where my heart used to be, where what was left of my heart was anyway, was vacant. I knew Anakin was going to die, and I could do nothing to stop it.  
  
I felt guilt spread over me like a blanket. Only this blanket made me feel cold and alone inside, instead of warm and loved. I was losing the only other person I loved in this world to a disease that couldn't be cured.  
  
No. That wasn't true. Bant. I still had Bant. No. Bant was still angry with me, thinking that I didn't love her like I did my apprentice. But I did. With all my empty heart I did. But I was afraid. Afraid to lose another that I loved. I had to talk to her.  
  
"Bant." My voice was rasping after not drinking anything for several days.  
  
"Bant is in looking after a patient, Obi-Wan." A mug of some sort of sweet- smelling brown liquid was thrust under my nose. I looked up at Tahl. She smiled warmly at me. "Drink this. It'll make you feel better. Honest."  
  
"Thanks." I rasped again, and then drank the glass down. I felt warmth spreading through my body, warming me down to my toes.  
  
"It's Bant's special tonic. It's mainly used for headaches and colds, but you looked like you could use some." Tahl frowned down at me. "I don't like the way you look, Obi-Wan. You're too thin. You need to eat something."  
  
Before I could protest that I didn't want anything, Tahl swept out of the room. I sighed and sat back in my chair, beginning to watch Anakin's still form again. His heart rate had slowed, ever so slightly.  
  
* "There is something we can do. But it will mean that Anakin's spinal cord will be out of commission." *  
  
Bant's words flashed through my head again. Out of commission. Anakin would be crippled. Unable to walk, move, or play again. Would that be so terrible?  
  
I glanced back at the small child on the bed. He was always so bright, cheerful, and nothing ever seemed to get him down. Now he was reduced to this frail form that couldn't even smile.  
  
I stood and moved over to the bed, dragging my chair behind me. I didn't have the strength to carry it. I sat by the bedside, eyes never leaving Anakin's face. I took his small hand in mine and held it, desperately trying to bring some warmth back into it.  
  
"Anakin," I whispered. "I'm so sorry. I never meant for this to happen. But it'll all be over soon. I'm going to have them perform the operation."  
  
One misty grey eye opened a crack, peering at me. Anakin coughed quietly. "W-ha-t is the o-per-a-tion?" he murmured, closing his eye again.  
  
I looked at him, startled. It was the first time he had spoken since he had slipped into unconsciousness.  
  
"They are going to take the disease off of your spine. You'll survive this, Anakin. I know you will."  
  
He coughed again, this time, more violently. "W-ha-t are t-he si-de-aff- ects?" The child must have heard Tahl and I talking about it.  
  
"You might not be able to walk afterwards. It would cripple you."  
  
"I d-on-t want -t-o be cr-ipp-led." I couldn't believe what I was hearing.  
  
"Wouldn't you rather be alive and crippled than dead, Anakin?"  
  
"N-o." Then he slipped back into unconsciousness. His heart skipped a beat, then resumed it normal "blip..blip..blip" sound.  
  
I sat back in my chair, thinking. I never really considered that Anakin might not want to be alive and not able to do anything. I guess if I was him, I would rather die that live and not be able to do anything. I sighed and slumped down further in my chair.  
  
Suddenly, the steady "blip" of the heart monitor stopped, flat-lining. I stood and ran to the door.  
  
"BANT! HIS HEART STOPPED!" I screamed. 'Force no, oh Force. Please, no, not now! He's too young to die!'  
  
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CLIFFIE!!!!!!!!!!! W00t!!!! I am evil!!! EEEEEEEEVIL!!!!!!!! **heart** Lemme know what you think, okay? ^_^ 


	2. For love of a Padawan

~ Okay, here's the next chapter. I have no idea when the chapter after this will be coming in, considering Writer's block has finally set in. *angry sigh* Anyways, I hope you guys enjoy this. ^_^  
  
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I paced back and forth in the back of the room, hands clenching and unclenching. A group of healers surrounded Anakin's bed, talking in frantic whispers. Their tightly packed bodies concealed my apprentice from sight, as well as what they were doing to his small body.  
  
The heart monitor blipped quietly, once.twice.three times.before flat lining again.  
  
What little hope that had been brought back at the heartbeats disappeared completely from me when it returned to flat lining. Tears streamed down my face in hopeless rivers as I stalked out of the healers' ward. How could this happen?! How could Bant let this happen?!  
  
The anger that was once a small flickering flame inside me was now a roaring fire. It consumed my body, filling every inch of my heart and soul. I lost myself in my rage, and I had no control over my body.  
  
I stormed into the council room, shoving in the doors with the Force. The doors had been reduced to crumpled pieces of metal, lying in the middle of the room.  
  
"How could you let this happen?!" I screamed. The large windows in the chamber shattered from all the dark energy that was flowing freely from my body. "He's the Chosen One! He CANNOT die!"  
  
None of the masters had moved when the glass had shattered, or when the doors had landed in their midst. Now all of their eyes were filled with sadness and focused on me.  
  
"How could you let him die?! He's only a child!!!" What was I saying? These were the people that took me in as a child and raised me to be a powerful Jedi.  
  
"Obi-Wan, sorry to hear of your padawan's death we are, but calm down you must." Master Yoda's voice was powerful, but tired sounding at the same time. Stupid little green troll. You have no idea what this feels like! If you did, you would be acting like this too!  
  
Suddenly, I felt very cold, and neither Mace Windu or Yoda, or any of the other Council members for that matter, would meet my eyes. Realization dawned over me after a few moments.  
  
"You knew?" It came out as a strangled whisper, and I swayed unsteadily. "You knew he was going to die from the first place, didn't you?" I said again, accusingly. "You knew and you let me love him?! Why? Why in Force's name would you let me do that! You all knew this would hurt me more than anything!"  
  
"Obi-Wan, calm down. It was just a test-" began Mace.  
  
"NO! I will NOT calm down! See what your stupid test did to me?! See?!" I glared at them furiously. "I can't believe I trusted you. You, the twelve most powerful force users in the galaxy, playing games with people underneath you? I can't believe you!" I stormed out of the room, scowling at anyone who passed by.  
  
I shoved the door open to my rooms, grabbed a bag and began stuffing my robes into it. I crammed all I owned into it, and then slung it over my shoulder. I paused at the door, looking over my shoulder.  
  
On the dresser was a small holo of Anakin and I. I walked slowly towards it and touched the edge briefly, before spinning around and dashing out the door. I went immediately to the hangar bay, and paid a pilot 2000 credits to get me away from that place.  
  
"Whar ya goin'?" he asked, his accent heavy.  
  
"Alderaan. And I'd like to get there fast."  
  
The man cackled. "Runnin' away from yer problems, eh? Well, I get a lot of 'em like you." I looked at him curiously.  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
"There are a lot o' people like yerself. All runnin' from their pro'lems. Why don' people jest face their fears?" he asked, gunning the engines.  
  
"I'm not running from my problems!" I yelled. "I just need to leave and get to Alderaan quickly!"  
  
"Alrigh', alrigh'. Cool yer jets. We're goin', we're goin'." He took the controls and maneuvered us out of the hangar bay. I sat back in my chair, arms folded stubbornly over my chest. What the captain had said made too much sense for my peace of mind.  
  
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I lived on Alderaan for 6 years before returning to the Temple. I had become to miss the large building on the huge planet of Coruscant, with it's massive library and long hallways.  
  
My ship, a sleek model from the royal fleet on Alderaan, (Bail Organa had given me the ship when I became a general), docked in the bay of the Temple. I gave my entrance code to the guard, who checked it and allowed me in.  
  
I walked along the halls, knowing full well that the masters were training with their padawans and that the initiates were all in the crèche with Master Yoda. I don't know where I went first, because I don't remember what happened aside from what happened as I walked down to the healers' ward.  
  
I needed to find Bant. Tell her that I'm back.  
  
I stepped in and was greeted by a handsome young man with sandy blonde hair and clear blue eyes. He smiled brilliantly at me.  
  
"Hello. My name is Anakin Skywalker, apprentice to the Master Healer Bant. How may I help you?"  
  
My jaw hit the floor. Anakin.he's here.he's alive.  
  
"Um, sir? Are you okay?" The young man's face peered up at me worriedly.  
  
"Yeah.I'm fine.I just to sit down." I did sit. In a chair. Hard.  
  
"Sir?" He put a hand on my shoulder. "Can I get anything for you?"  
  
"Yes. Bant." Anakin nodded and disappeared into a room. A few minutes later, Bant appeared, followed by a very curious Anakin. Bant's silver eyes widened.  
  
"Obi-Wan." her voice trailed off. "What are you doing here? We thought you died."  
  
"I came back, and I'm certainly not dead." I smiled weakly.  
  
"Anakin, leave us, please." Her eyes never left my face.  
  
"But Master Bant-"  
  
"Anakin, please, leave." The young man hesitated for a fraction of a second, then nodded and went into the hall. Bant pulled up a chair and sat by me.  
  
"Bant.why didn't you contact me?" My voice was a strangled whisper.  
  
"I thought you were dead. You left right before we brought him back to life." A small tear rolled down her face. "I felt like you didn't want to talk to me at the moment, so I left you alone. By the time I decided it was time to tell you, you had left." Tears formed in my eyes as she continued to speak. "Obi-Wan, we were told that you were killed some time ago. I'm sorry."  
  
I stood, looking at the ground, then glanced up at her. She stood eye to eye with me now. Tears slowly rolled down my face. She looked at me sadly.  
  
I threw myself into her arms, sobbing. She held me close, allowing me to cry. When I was finished, I pulled away and looked up at her. "I'm so sorry."  
  
She wiped the tears off my face. "There's nothing to be sorry about, Obi- Wan. You were lost, confused."  
  
"But I acted irrationally. I shouldn't have done that. "  
  
"Obi-Wan-" I gave her a look that made her stop.  
  
"Bant, he's safe now, that's all that really matters. Just one question, and I want you to tell me the truth." I saw silver tears beginning to form in her eyes again. Don't cry Bant. I hate it when you cry. "Does he remember me?" It came out as a whisper. I didn't want to know the truth. The truth hurts too much.  
  
She looked at me sadly. No, Bant, don't look at me like you pity me. That will make it hurt even more.  
  
"No, Obi-Wan. I'm sorry. He doesn't remember you at all. With his encounter with death, he doesn't remember anything except his name that he lives in the Temple." I looked down at my hands, staring at them. I sat there for a few moments, not listening to anything in particular.  
  
"Obi-Wan." The edge to Bant's voice startled me out of my dream world. "Obi-Wan, do you want to talk to him? When his shift is over here, I'll send him down to the gardens if you want." I nodded, half listening, half not. "Okay then. He'll be down in a little while."  
  
I stood. "Thanks Bant," I murmured, and then left. I heard her sigh softly as the door shut behind me.  
  
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Mwahahahaaa.not as evil as the last, I might add. Thank you to those who were reviewing.  
  
Hananiah: Here's your update, chica. Hope you like this one. ^_~  
  
The Watcher: It's really that good? O.O wow.thanks for the ups. ^_^  
  
mixza: no, I wasn't kidding about being in a morbid mood. ^_^ But it's gone now, so it's not going to be AS morbid as it was before. ^_^ Hope you like this chapter. 


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